So, yesterday, after 10 and a half long months of constant companionship, feeding, nappy-changing, singing, rocking, hugging, kissing, crying, and hard bloody work, I left my baby. Overnight. Actually, it was for more than 24 hours from the time I left until the time I returned. This was very difficult for me because I’ve been off work and a full-time mum since she was born. I’ve never been away from her for more than a couple of hours here and there. Plus she’s been going through a phase recently where she’s become very attached to me, to the point where she will cry if I leave the room. So you can imagine that I was full of trepidation yesterday as I lifted my overnight bag and prepared to leave the house. I was expecting lots of crying, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Instead I got a wee pleasant smile and a slight headbutt. She really didn’t care much that I was going.
The other one though, who I thought would be waving me off and shooing me out so that she could have fun times with daddy, bounced off the sofa, bounced onto the floor, grabbed me around the ankle and pleaded with me not to go.
See, I have pictorial evidence of this rare show of daughterly love. I think she just wanted a night away in a hotel, but still…
Once I extracted myself, (and having left outfits for the baby, meals for kids and husband, and reminder notes to buy milk), I set off into the unknown – a girlie night away in a posh hotel with two of my very best friends. I don’t think we stopped talking for a minute. We reminisced, we laughed, we listened to each other moan, and we gave, and got, good advice. We ate lovely fluffy scones with cream and jam, then we ate some more nice food, retired to our room to talk more and eat chocolate. Then we had an unbroken nights sleep during which no children cried for us, or climbed into bed with us, got up and had showers privately, on our own with no kids watching or joining in, before eating a hot breakfast that someone else had cooked for us. We didn’t have to pick up a toy, kiss a sore knee, play princesses, shout, do any housework or shopping, or even tidy up after ourselves for a few short hours. And you know what? It was bliss. I love my kids, but sometimes I need to be away from them. I’m going to do it more often because I need nights like that, where I’m not just a mum or a wife. I’m a person with a history, a present, and a future. A person with memories, problems, and possibilities.
Yes, I left my baby for a little while, but I have no doubt that for the next wee while at least, I’ll be a better mum to her for that.
(Thanks to the Roe Park Resort for the comfy beds, the yummy scones, and the warm welcome. This post is in no way sponsored by the hotel, my party paid for our stay, but sometimes good service deserves to be shouted about and we had such a lovely time… We’ll be back!
Thanks also to my lovely husband who told me I could stay another night if I wanted to.)